Relationship dynamic: Infidelity

At work this week, two young men around 22 years of age approached me. One flirtatiously asked my age while the other responded "prolly 21". I smiled and kept working as they both attempted to get my attention by talking about me as though I was not present. Finally I told them I was 17, thinking they wanted an older woman, but that did not work so since they would not give up on getting my attention, I reminded them that this was a work place to try and be professional. So they left, but the one who was interested returned hours later to ask me out for dinner. So I thought to my self that perhaps because my hand was covered he did not see my ring. Therefore I  asked him:"would your behavior change if I told you that I was married". His response threw me off, not because I am naive but because it rang way too familiar. He said that it would not change anything, because what "he doesn't know won't hurt him" and added that I would not be the first married woman he has "messed with". I told him: "I don't think you heard me, I am happily married". He said ok and walked away and ever since avoids even eye contact with me. 

           Prior to getting married, I received messages that portrayed cheating to be normal and acceptable in our society. Women will tell me "that's how men are, you gotta live with it" and some were adamant that it is impossible to find a man who does not cheat. On the other hand, men will say to me "it's easy for men to cheat because women throw themselves at them." Although both statements may have some truth attached to them, they are purely ingrained in fallacies. My goal is not to discuss why men or women cheat, because once you make the decision to cheat, anything could sound like a good reason. I rather wish to shed light on some relationship dynamic that may innocently open the door to infidelity. 

Everyone we encounter plays a role in our lives even those we meet briefly. The workplace might be one of the most vulnerable places for married people, as they become comfortable with members of the opposite sex. There are behaviors that are very suggestive that many are oblivious to. Such behaviors tend to lead to emotional cheating and at times physical cheating. The key here is to honor your marriage wherever you are by making it known through your behavior that you do respect your partner. The way you do that is to not engage in any jokes or behaviors that may give others a reason to disrespect your partner who in fact may not know what is going on at work or away from home. 

In my case I did nothing to attract attention, and clearly informing him of my marital status seemed insignificant until I made it evident that I was not going to disrespect my husband at any point just because he is unaware. 

Whether you are married or in a serious courtship, I encourage you to respect your partner, by being committed to staying faithful despite the numerous temptations out there. Also remember, the decision to cheat comes before the act and not after.