"Keeping up with the Joneses"

                 This week a friend and I got into a conversation about competition amongst friends and family when it comes to dating, marriage, parenting, education, etc... She requested that I expand on some of the factors that influence people to become overtly competitive with those closest to them and even acquaintances. So here, I would like to share my perspective on this important issue most of us are familiar with... 

                Her request led me to research a bit about a term we all know as "keeping up with the joneses", coined in the early 1900's. The "Joneses" were not actual people per se, they were cartoon characters who were never physically seen in the comic strip but were implied to signify "neighbors". The essence of the term is to portray people who compete with others for socio-economic status which tends to lead to unnecessary debt & to some extent even broken relationships. Essentially, one is competing against another based on their perception without being cognizant that their view can in fact be tainted. 

               Life is not a race, and "keeping up" only causes casualties. This topic has been on my heart for quite a while, as I assessed my environment, and witnessed many strained relationships. I pondered about the difference between being genuinely competitive and trying to fit in by replicating the lives of others. Competition is a healthy trait, because it can motivate you to do better and become your best self. Healthy competition is when you use yourself as the standard and not others. Competition is ingrained in us from the time we enter grade school to the point when we enter the workforce, and impacts any ralationship we attempt to build. It is the basis for sibling rivalry and hinders our true purpose in life as we chase the dreams of others. As an attempt to shorten this blog, I will partially address this issue for now. What I have learned over my 27 years of life is that although society materialistically defines success, it is rather a multi-faceted point in life which  is much more subjective than the objective standard precribed by society. 

Success is when the combination of our capabilities, talents, potential, dreams, goals, and knowledge bring us into a state of harmony with our mind, heart and soul. Basically what I consider success may never be considered success for someone else. 

               The point in me leading you thoroughly is to portray how being wrongfully motivated to keep up with others in any aspect of your life ultimately hinders you. Know that the fruit does not fall too far from the tree, so whatever motivates you to get married, pregnant, educated, become a friend, buy things, etc will be the very thing that brings you what you deserve. The energy you put in is the energy you will reap. We participate in many activities and events in our lives such as baby showers, weddings, birthdays, graduations, etc... There is nothing wrong with being inspired by such events, but when people push to the edge to do everything possible to keep up, they end up getting hurt. 

          I encourage you not to be intimidated by happy moments in the lives of your loved ones, but rather celebrate and encourage those around you even if you don't have the very thing you wish for. We are all guided by seasons and times, and when it is your moment to shine you will. 

Happy Holidays everyone. 

Enjoy your week.