Today I wish to talk to you about insecurities, an issue I discovered to be quite universal. Insecurities transcend class, socio-economic status, marital status, education level, and even beauty. The social standards prescribed by society in this day and age, make it so much easier to develop unnecessary insecurities. Whether you meet an overweight or skinny person, there still tends to be a weight concern. When reading about bulimia and anorexia, it seems so unrealistic, until you meet real people suffering from these disorders. Bullying, a despicable behavior seen in school-age children can find its root in the insecurities the aggressors experience. Domestic violence amongst teens and adults in relationships, also another clear indication of insecurities pertaining to imbalance in power and control. Although many of the issues we encounter in our daily lives stem from insecurities and a lack of self-worth, this topic remains the pink elephant in the room. Insecurities are socially imposed disorders that can lead to years of depression and loneliness and potentially lead to suicide.
We tend to mask our feelings of insecurity into aggressiveness, defensiveness, hatred, jealousy, over-competitiveness, and shyness. In relationships, insecurities may require some partners to be strong for two simply because you may not feel that you are man enough or an ideal woman. This can become overbearing for the partner who always have to encourage you. In such situations, you must acknowledge the insecurity, recognize your self-worth, and communicate with your partner to prevent jealousy, distrust, betrayal, etc. In school settings, you have peer groups formed as clicks based on the type of clothes they were(name brands), the grades they receive, and even cultural background. Parents are forced to adhere to the school fashion status quo so that their children are not isolated. It is almost impossible for anyone to boldly acknowledge their insecurities, yet we all display attitudes and behaviors based on them. Ultimately, we all have insecurities even I.
I quite remember in the 10th grade, someone I considered a friend made a comment about my face. I was so devastated and still remember it to this day. I have personally suffered from acne for over a decade. After 2 years of recovery, I find myself returning to the same teenage routine I had literally 10 years ago. I could have fooled everyone around me due to my confidence, but I have always been so insecure about my skin breaking out. I remember reading an article about acne, which stated that employers can disqualify you in interviews because you have bad skin. Well you might scream discrimination, but you will never know that a generic "thank you for applying" letter had something to do with your skin. According to the article, the idea behind that scenario is that healthy skin denotes good genes etc... I felt so discouraged but luckily, I can't remember being disqualified by any job after actually interviewing. Nonetheless, looks may not be everything but they become something when it matters. As I matured, I learned to live with the acne and did not allow it to ruin it for me. When anyone is inconsiderate enough to make rude comments about it, I just brush it off because I realized that it does not define me. Is it hard? YES! Especially since everyone you see on TV is flawless and has been photo-shopped. Just know that every condition you are in, there is always worst out there, and things can always be far worst.
When you see that woman with a husband, good career, children, nice house, and is beautiful on top of that you might think to yourself that she's got it all and see her life as perfection. Little do you know that this same woman may be insecure about her marriage, or her looks the very thing you find "beautiful". When you see that young man in his luxury car nicely dressed with a good job, you might think he's got it all. You may never know that they are actually too shy to even ask a girl out, or simply because they suffer from halitosis (bad breath).
Your self-worth is completely independent of your shortcomings, and your insecurities. Learn to embrace all of you. Acknowledge your insecurities, you need to be able to say oh well and keep it moving. Recognize that others behavior towards you may be due to their own insecurities, in so doing you may be able to also help them to deal with their situation in a healthy manner.
Most importantly, No one is perfect. In creating you, God made provisions for all your shortcomings and loves you all the same.
No comments:
Post a Comment