In 2011, I had an interesting conversation with a fine young man I met in 2008 but did not date until 3 years later. One day he said, he has something important to tell me. He proceeds to say: " I will be a liar if I told you I didn't like you, and its obvious you like me too, but I also like another girl in DC." I sat there quietly for a good 5 minutes while he stared at me. Then he says to me: "you're not gonna say anything?" So, I told him: "the reason you are confused is because you want to be with the girl in DC. So there is nothing for me to say." He chuckled at that answer and had nothing to say to my response. So I immediately asked him, nicely, to drop me off at home. The ride was silent. Of course when I got home, I wrote in my diary and laughed off the disappointment.
For some reason, my response must have taken him off-guard because he began to call me more. Needless to say, I was done with him. So as time went by, it really made me think about how dating causes so many casualties and continuously lowers one's self-esteem. Dating could be rough, but in introspect, I see that some women tend to be treated bad in relationships because they allow it. Women work so desperately to hold on to a man who has no intention of being with them or helping them improve even as a friend! I know this may be a hard truth but women invest their all in dead-end relationships because they do not have the strength to move on and also because they are ignorant of their self-worth.
The underlining truth is low self-esteem will always lead to unfilled relationships.
I was having this conversation with someone today. Having the confidence to say 'I like you alot but as your not not sure I'll leave you alone so you can be sure first' is not something many women can do. Individuals need to know their self worth before they can expect another to know their worth ..with this they will develop the confidence to stand up and refuse maltreatment even though their heart feels to try ... in the example you have given many woman would fall into the trap of trying to 'make' him realise that its you he wants and not the woman in DC. When all is said and done and you trust God you never have to 'promote' yourself against any other Gods plan always prevails so as women sometimes we just need to stop trying to do 'everything' and just trust God!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree Rachel! I guess he thought I was going to audition before him and prove him that I am the one he should seek instead, but I knew better.
ReplyDeleteits game most man play on their prey.
ReplyDeleteI agree!
Deleteabsolutely agree confidence can take u far, n low self esteem can really become ur downfall
ReplyDeleteYou are totally right!
DeleteThank you!
ReplyDelete